"You're going to put WHAT WHERE?!?" and other things my patients would say

Working with animals would sometimes be a lot easier if they could actually tell you what is wrong with them. Other times you are seriously happy that they cannot talk. Sometimes it is really funny to think about the things the animals wish they could say. Here is a list of of things I think my patients think about me.

• (The look every animal gives its mom) Mom, why is this crazy lady talking to me?
• (The doctor brings a dog over to see a cat in a cage) Seriously Doc? Why do I want to look at a cat that I can't chase?
• (Watching two techs spray each other with a spray bottle) UhOh! What did you guys do to get in so much trouble?
• Please don't poke me, please don't poke me, please don't poke me!!!
• OUCH! Why did you have to poke me so many time?
• *snorting and snuffle-ing* I can't believe you shot that up my nose!
• Just because I am cute and little doesn't mean I won't try to rip out your throat.
• You're going to put WHAT WHERE?!?
• I could have told you that I wasn't really THAT sick if you would listen to me for once.
• I miss my tooth!!!
• Hmmm.... I feel lighter. I wonder what happened while I was asleep?

These are just some of the things that I am sure were thought just over the past 3 days while I was at work. There are just too many funny things to pick from when you see so many patients a day.

Anybody else have any funny things their pets would say?